Thursday, September 06, 2012

7 Insignificant Things About A Highly Inconsequential Person

Amit has accused me of writing inspiring blogs...and has even given me this award. At first I thought he was being cheeky. Then I realized he was not...he actually meant it. But I tell you I wash my hands off all responsibility – if you have issues with this award, please catch hold of Amit. Amit – you naive one...thanks for the award. I feel humbled and....oh darn it! I grabbed the award with an evil grin and did a hop and a skip. I’m bloody flattered out of my socks.

So now, just grabbing the award is not enough I believe. I have to inflict further suffering on you, poor readers. I am supposed to tell you 7 things about myself. And then, I am supposed to accuse someone else of being inspiring. Let’s get started shall we?

1) I’m a coffee addict. I neighed like a horse and shrieked like banshee when some twat of a minister wanted to make tea the ‘national drink’. I mean really? That sludge that needs to be boiled and boiled? That damn slush that half the population can’t prepare decently? They over-boil the milk and serve scalding liquid with a film of sickly cream covering the surface? That slosh which cannot get a taste unless you add cardamoms and cloves and ginger and what have you? Seriously? Now look at our south Indian filter coffee. I’ve not tasted anything like it anywhere in the world. And the aroma while roasting the coffee beans ...unbeatable. Can tea do that? Can it? huh?

2) The above rant must have given you a clue about my next characteristic. Schizophrenic ranting. I’ll be a charm as I grow older for sure. They’ll probably put me in solitary confinement.

3) I am deeply suspicious of government, lawyers, cops, doctors, realtors and smiling bankers. And even more deeply, deeply suspicious of overly religious people.

4) I believe in aliens.

5) I’m more of a mountain and valley person...and not so thrilled about beach and sand and sea. Maybe because I visualise the sea/ocean as a heaving, breathing organism with a mind of its own. Treacherous, shape-shifting buggery thing.

Woman with a flower - Picasso
Courtesy -
6) Picasso’s paintings give me the creeps. I’m sorry but I find calling it ‘art’ a load of bull. I mean check out this painting titled 'Woman with a flower'. Seriously WTF? Dali too has the same effect on me. And I hate self-help preachy books about winning and monks and cars and habits and all the collective How To Be Successful shit.

7) I hope to meet Stephen King someday and give him a guru dakshina. No other modern day writer can match his imagination or his power of narration. His insight into human mind is simply astounding.

And now that you’ve wasted a good couple of minutes of your life that you’ll never get back, I’ll pass on the baton to two really interesting bloggers. Now THEY are inspiring.

Karthik LMS

© Sumana Khan - 2012


  1. Thank you very much for accepting the award. You are correct that I was not being cheeky. I love the way you right. :)
    We have a lot in common except for 7. I need to read more of Stephan King. I have read Pet Sematary and Dreamcatcher.

    1. :) Thank you!

      They are not his best books. Cujo, Christine,Bag of Bones, Duma Key, Under the Dome to name a few..are my favourites.

  2. Congratulations on bagging an award!

    That was a nice gesture from Amit indeed.
    I too love reading what you write and am glad I subscribed to your blog.

    Newspapers, and TV are simply disgusting these days and I have become cynical.
    I take refuge in cyberspace and your blog is one of the few I love to read.
    May you bag even more awards.

    Glad to know seven things about you.
    We have something in common.
    Here is a comparison.

    1)I too love coffee but am not an addict.
    The best coffee I have ever tasted is at MTR in Bangalore.
    Try it if you haven't.
    At home I restrict myself to one cup in the morning and occasionally another in the afternoon. I believe the best coffee in India is from Karnataka. I have tried all the popular brands , Modern, Kwality, Bayer, Cotha, and have finally settled on Suma coffee. I tried Narasu's at Coimbatore and found it just did not match our Bangalore brands.

    I love tea when served black. With a bit of lemon, it does make a refreshing drink.
    I also love tea when served cold with ice. I don't fancy cold coffee and don't like the fancy and expensive coffees like expresso, etc served at Cafe Coffee days. They are making fools out of their customers. I had tasted coffee in USA and it was a total disappointment. They just can't make it like we do.

    2) I never rant. I simply suffer in sullen silence.

    3)Smiling bankers are harmless. Beware of smiling salesmen.

    4)Gosh, I would be scared of aliens, if they look anything like the images I have seen in comic books.

    5)Mountains and valleys, sea shores, river banks, beaches, gardens, are all well welcome. But it must be dawn. I must experience the sun rise at these places. I don't mind sunsets but I am not a night owl. I am a morning person. I still cherish the time I spent at Kanya Kumari and remember watching the sunrise and sunset standing at the same spot. That is a unique experience.

    6)Agree with you regarding Picasso and also other painters like MF Husain. I never understood painting and still can't understand why people pay fortunes for paintings.

    7)Never read Stephen King but now that you mention him, let me try him.

    Yes I read Shail's blog regularly and have done so for nearly two years now.
    I will try out Karthik's blog too.

    Keep writing

  3. Thank you so much GVjee. Glad to have you back!

  4. Feels like the beginning of my blogging days. Maybe it is. :)
    Kaapi, yes. And aliens. And mountain-valley person. And the "paintings," too. High five!
    Seriously, that's a "woman with a flower?" All I can see are a bean, two idlis, one banana, two leaves, one elephant trunk, one hanumantan baala and a tiny balloon. Where the hell is the woman and where the hell is the flower? Crazy, I say.

    Thanks for the award. Will write about my "seven wonders" soon. :)

    1. Ha ha..yes that is apparently a woman with a flower LOL! Like Hussain drawing a dot and circle and calling it madhuri dixit. Check out Picasso's other paintings...each one more hideous than the other.

    2. @Karthik, Bean? Are you sure? I would have sworn that's a kidney!

    3. Well...the first thought that came to my mind was kidney bean.

  5. Hahaha couldn't help but giggle at this post. Erm not because you got the award, mind you. You're one hell of an inspiring writer. I got so inspired by your previous post that I want to take up my abandoned fiction writing, yes, once again. All thanks to you. And surely, I am not being cheeky either.
    I agree wholeheartedly to whatever you're saying. And we might just be the sister who got lost in Kumbh ka mela. Kaapi definitely before tea for me. And I have trust issues with certain people. I LOVE the mountains and beaches are OK for me for a yearly visit. I despise those self help books with a vengeance. Only I have not read Stephen King. Now you made me sit up and make a note. I am not trying to impress you either. It is just a co-incidence that I found your quirks to be present in me too :P Same pinch there. Congrats to you. Shail and Karthik too :)

    1. CTC...thank you so much for your kind words.

      And 'kumbh ka mela'..ROFL! DO you have ...let's say one half of a 100 rupee note and a tattoo on you right wrist? And do you remember the long forgotten song? LOL!

      I hope we can meet up some day :)

    2. I have so many 100 rupee note, I don't mind tearing one into a half :P And I'm planning to get a tattoo soon so mail me your design :D
      haha. Yep I hope to meet you sometime too. I've been meaning to tour the UK for a long time now. I hope it'll not turn into just one of those dreams. Sigh! :)

  6. Errr... did my comment get posted? Or did it get lost in cyber space?

    1. This is the only comment that reached me Shail...

  7. Looks like my morning's comment was swallowed by the ever hungry net.

    Sorry for dropping in late to collect the award. Thank you, I am honored you find me inspiring :) Now that the formal acceptance speech os out of the way, Whaaat?! Seven MORE things about me in a blog page that has so much of 'me' already? ;)

    I am a chai person. In fact I have been meaning to write a post about it since long. This is the nudge in the right direction. So expect one soon.
    I love mountains and valleys, also sea and beaches :)
    I am deeply suspicious of the overly religious. I'd like to underline and italicize that. Not only am I suspicious I DON'T want them anywhere near me. They make me break out in rashes.
    I ought to believe in aliens since I believe I am one too ;)
    Agree with you about Stephen King.
    Tell me about the sullen silence!
    I will probably be a very sweet (my definition) old lady :D :P
    Now the paintings. I like the challenge they present. Woman with flower it says. So I rack my brain how it could be that ;) Good exercise for the gray cells!

    1. Ha ha! I am just finishing up Stephen King's Duma Key where some evil spirit does bad things through bad-a** paintings. I can imagine. LOL!

      Of course you will be a sweet old lady with her collection of solid bricks that shall be thrown swiftly, with a smile, at annoying people ;)

    2. Ok Sumana, here it is: :D :D